Again…its not that the guy who owes his entire fortune to Jason Lezak smoked weed…who cares about that. It’s that when you are THE sportsman of the forever, when your face is ON everything from cereal to japanese speaking software to diarrhea capsules (i made up the last one but its not unrealistic), you need to keep a low profile on the party scene. That’s all…make a billion dollars and don’t smoke weed for a few years. THEN, after you have cleaned out all your sponsors and outlived your usefulness, head to Amsterdam, rent a flat and smoke yourself silly. All ya had to do was wait you moron!! You should have just shotgunned a beer lungboy. Hell, I bet you could have funneled a 40 and in my opinion that would have been a lot cooler.

Now Kellogg’s, using whatever infinite wisdom a company that makes sugar bombs has, has dropped their sponsorship of Phelps. Kellogg’s? That’s funny. My kids eat Kellogg’s cereal, as do I, and the last thing any of us are thinking about at 7 in the morning is where we can score some crystalline herbal goodness for the day. You could put fucking Snoop Dogg on the cover of Frosted Flakes and chances are I wouldn’t even notice, let alone get a jones for blowing a fat tube. And USA Swimming, perpetrators of the “LAZR suits don’t make swimmers faster, it’s their training” myth, has suspended Phelps from competition for 3 months. Yawn.

The meltdown has begun, as I predicted on this very site and it’s only a matter of time before Phelps is involved in his next debacle. The next one will be an absolute doozy…I am predicting car accident or shooting himself in the leg…you heard it here first.

Sidenote…based on my own personal experience…Phelps is going through the same syndrome that every hard-training college swimmer ever went through. It’s the “I just swam my ass off for 12 years and am completely socially inept and now I have nothing to do so I am going to party my ass off until I do something really stupid” syndrome.

By the way, I am categorizing this one as a shout-out to Mike cause I bet with those lungs he is able to pull one helluva tube.